it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
