When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
