To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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