I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
