I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
