1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
