have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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