Non-Jews are for practice
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This baby is an asshole
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
