You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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