The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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