have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
