yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
