there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dear god my vagina.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
