Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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