You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
