dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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