I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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