Where did you get a picture of my penis
I could make wine with my vomit
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
