I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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