uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
