Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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