I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
