We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have aggressive nipples.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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