I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
