Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
