so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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