He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
