his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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