Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
