Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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