I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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