im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
love makes seman taste better
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
