Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
