i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
