physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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