When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
