RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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