i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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