"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
