Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The Olympian is in my bed
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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