Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
