You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
