Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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