Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
