you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
is wine microwaveable?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
