alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
