let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
