The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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