Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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