Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
