i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
