I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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