i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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