He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
