omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize