margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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